Month: November 2012

All My Heroes Have Always Worn Black (re-post)

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Some people claim that wearing black is an aspect of a low vibratory state.  Well I say P-SHAH to THAT! If a person radiates a strong enough light of their own then they will shine no matter what! Though it may have a bad rap, black will always be the go-to guy when a party is a-callin’ and a girl is in a cocktail dress quandary.  Besides, technically it’s not even a color, it’s the absence of it!  (So HA to you!)

Now don’t get me wrong,  I LOVE LOVE LOVE colors. The brighter, deeper, and most intense (especially if they’re all thrown together) the better.

(I’m afraid of the golden years. I can see  a hard future of wearing rainbow muu-muus sipping on Alkie Palmers for myself)

Incidentally, I deeply apologize to Miss Grace Jones.  Above all else, she’s the HBIC* when it comes to wearing black. Although she will never come close to my Lola Falana:

*(For the six of you who still don’t know what HBIC means go to www.urbandictionary.com and check it out for yourselves)

Photo of the Week

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20121125-194410.jpg

For some cockamamie reason every once in a great while my lip tends to blow up into a plastic surgical nightmare. There’s so physical explanation for it, so lately I’ve chucked it up to a stress related phenomena.
Why am I sharing this tid bit of information with you?
BECAUSE I’M RUNNING OUT OF TOPICS TO WRITE ABOUT, THAT’S WHY!
Did you really think I give a shit about sharing my personal foibles??
Actually I do…

Badass Quote of The Week

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This week’s quote is brought to you by my stickk.com referee and friend DawnyO.
Ever so the Canadian, she has stated in no uncertain terms that cock shots are stupid and pointless. She just put it in a politely ubiquitous manner that is.


“The exposure of one’s genitalia to near complete strangers is an interesting thing.”
— Orchid Sturm

Hey Lady?! Why You Bitin’ My Style?

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(The following is an excerpt from a correspondence between H and myself. I’m too physically exhausted from my flu to think of writing an entire background post.  But this is entry #5 for the week. Once again, disaster averted and $5.00 have been saved. Please to enjoy the following, and bite me N.O.M.!)

ME:   OMGOMGOMFG! H! Check out this psycho!

Tell me if there’s anything about her profile that “reads” familiar…

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/gerripetrova                                                                      (Ok Cupid has since erased her profile)

H:  Looks like [it]  has been deleted. What happened? Did somebody rip off your profile?

Me:  Aside her photo and self-summary, she ripped me off word for word.
Dude, I watched her do it it too!
It went from a couple of formulaic sentences one minute, to “Giaisms” the next.

Creepy. Flattering. Funny and sad.
But most of all it was disappointing.
I witnessed someone who refused to think for themselves, and failed at placing any trust that their own personality will be attractive to any man out there.

On another note, are you ever going to tell me what happened at Lunacy?
I’m dying to know.

Oh, and did you get my texts last night o_O

I think I’m in deep drowning lust… (I was talking about the British guy’s nude shot. Please refer to my “GIS Hit”  post)

H:  Lunacy was complete lunacy. It was a psychedelic fueled foray into neo-archaic society. Fear and Loathing in Live Oaks, minus the fear and the loathing. I danced my ass off… met some amazing people… did not sleep much and hmmmm… Oh. My camp built the green room, so we hung out backstage and got occasional free backrubs intended for performers.

P.S. That’s some creepy ass shit. Here is what I imagine: Someone look at her profile and sayIng to themselves “what a witty and funny girl”. They ask her out and she behaves like a complete lame-0 without  an original thought in her head. Sad really.

(To this day I’m still incredulous of this woman’s motivations. Self-reliance and independent thought is not only sacred, but a precious commodity.  Don’t fall for the easy way out, because in truth, the journey towards anything is the goal)

P.P.S. Some time has passed and I’ve re-read this pieces and holy hell do I sound like a conceited cow. Glad I grew out of that petty crap… And  YES all need to think for ourselves!

GIS Hits

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A couple of weeks ago I met this really cute English guy on Ok Cupid. We had been Skyping back and forth here and there, and it goes without saying that we inevitably traded a few “questionable” photographs.
For some absurd reason I decided to share his c*#k shot with my rather hetero Santa Barbara penpal “H”.
In turn, H wondered if I had bothered to “GIS Hit” the photo to prove how genuine it’s content and the sender was. (Can’t say that I blame him. The photo is quite remarkable if I say so myself. Ahem…)

Well, what the hell did that mean?
Damn you computer nerds and your geek lingo!

After a few Google attempts I discovered that GIS is an acronym for “Google Image Search”.
All I had to do was go on the Google Image page, click on the camera icon inside the search window, upload a photo from my computer, and anything resembling it on the mystical magical inter web would surely garner results.

OMG, I couldn’t believe it,  love 21st century technology! Why hasn’t anyone told me before that we the public have access to photo recognition software?!?

Needless to say I discovered that my cute British guy has an entire Tumblr page dedicated to his member, with numerous amounts of re-posts and trolling fans. Now I no longer feel special since he’s just as big of a slut as I am. Perhaps even more so! (I can’t wait until he Skypes me next time. I’m so totally going to mercilessly tease him about it. This is gonna be good… HA-HA!)

Oh Jesus Christ, I just had a frightening thought: do I dare to search the outcome of mine own filthy behavior?!?
Please don’t answer that…

Yoga Pose Of The Week

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Savasana!

Please to lie your ass down with hands facing up, and eyes closed. Make sure your lips are soft, teeth slightly parted, with the tip of your tongue against your two front upper teeth. I’m so not in the mood to explain the mechanics. For now be quiet, within and without, we shall deffo revisit this “asana” a little deeper at a later date.

Don’t underestimate this powerful pose. You think it’s all about lying down and being passive, but what happens when your nose gets itchy? What about if you’re susceptible to falling asleep? I cannot tell you the handful of times the person next to me started snoring. (Ok, it was me, but in the immortal words of Marlena Dietrich, “…can’t help it”)

Go ahead, try it. See how well you can sit with your passing thoughts, outside distractions, and your lack of counterpoise.

I remember once Bryan Kest (proud owner of Santa Monica’s Power Yoga studios) challenged his students to be in savasana throughout the entire class. In such an instance the pose can be approached as an exercise in confronting the ever dreaded competitive aspect of the ego. However, personally I prefer to view it as a call to challenge myself into mindful response, rather than giving in to my knee-jerk reactions.

Have your legs begun to twitch yet. We shall see…

Happy Birfday to ME!

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I just wanted to wish myself a Happy Barfday!!!!

Mostly because I’ve been sick as a dog and it takes a strong disposition for me to keep my ass in bed and overdose on British television drama on Netflix while waiting to heal up.

So this wasn’t a spectacular celebration, but I’m grateful that I have wonderful parents who made the utmost of the few hours we had together. Plus the fuzzy hat with ears I purchased at Target the day before got hella used and made me feel very “Where The Wild Things Are”.
I cannot ask for more, the universe is generous, and I am grateful!